When its real you cant walk away... PART 2

Dear Diary,


So yesterday my best friend since middle school decided to drop by UN announced...I'm kinda glad he did i mean i used to have the biggest crush on him even when i was dating Jake...id sit there at lunch and stare at him or watch him walk in the gym id get the strangest feeling in my stomach..or heart i couldn't tell...That's when i knew i was in love...and yet i dated Jake...ewe anyways..Colby's the nicest person i ever met besides my brother and that's saying alot!..Well I'm going out to lunch with him today...then after-wards his house...Oh and jelly's pregnant? I'm not sure how i feel about that yet...my brother seems doing okay with it besides the fact that James doesn't know about it......O.o


the door bell rang i ran to get it...
"Hey Colby "-E i
"Hey girl"-C  he kissed me on the cheek, and I shut the door behind me and we drove silently to lunch but lunch to us is Desert! ICE CREAM ha ha anyways the waitress with tacky hair seated us at our table 

"We'd like a Chocolate Shake with loads of whip cream"-C
"One or Two"-W
"One"-C   i looked at Colby with a confused expression on my face....why one?
"Where sharing?"-E
"Yeah ..can two best friends not share a shake?"-C
"Well yeah if they were like sisters..not a guy and a gir"-E he cut me off "Elena shut up.."-C a smile went across his face and i laughed
"Your laugh is so cute different then when i lasted heard it so how have you been?"-C
"Ive been hanging in there"-E
"Whats that on your arm?"-C
 "Oh its nothing just a scar"-E i tried to cover it up...

"From what? its huge"-C
"Fights"-E
"Oh..."-C


it was silent for awhile then the waitress brought out the shake and two straws.


"Go ahead you can have the first sip"-C
i laughed then took a drink
"Hey can i get a check please?"-C
"No its quite all right its on the house....have a good day Elena"-W
"Thanks Gracie you too"-E
"You know here?"-C Colby said as we where walking out the door to the car
"She works for me"-E
"hm, so wanna go to my place?"-C
"Sure.."-E we drove to his place blasting music and singing and laughing...
"Here we are."-C
 he took my jacket off and hung it up..i went over to his fridge and grabbed a bottle of whisky
"Same old Elena always wanting the alcohol.."-C
"Ive changed..."-E a tear rolled down my face he wiped it away with his finger...i was looking up at him both of us staring at each other in the eyes..
"I didn't mean..."-C
"Its nothing...forget it"-E he hugged me hard and close 

"Just remember Elena I'm always here for you no matter what, Always!"-C


"I.....love..... you "-E

"What?....."-C

When its real you cant walk away...

 I was sitting at home while it was raining in my little comfy chair when the door bell chimes... I waited for a little bit then got up and answered the door.

 I pulled open the door and there he was my best friend from middle school Colby Jack Alan. and let me tell you something he was HOT!! 

 "Hi Elena"-C
"Hi um Colby? what are you doing here"-E I said a little to excitedly
"looking for jobs and.. you" -C
 " Really? Why? not that I didn't want you to or anything. um keep going" -E

why was I so nervous around him?...

 "Well because I miss you I haven't seen you in forever. your my best friend girl! " -C

 "You wanna come in side?"-E
 "I would love to" -C he said as he entered my house looking around
"nice place"-C
"thanks I live with Dimitri and Chase and Jasalin and cloud"-E
"who's cloud"-C right as Colby said his name cloud came running in the room jumping and waging his tale, Colby sat on the couch petting cloud, I sat across from them
"he's a pretty dog.."-C
"thanks"-E
"So wanna grab some lunch tomorrow and show me around town?"-C
"of course! maybe we can go up to my hideout"-E
"that sounds like a plan"-C. we both stood up and he gave me a big hug.
 "Nice to see you again Elena"-C
"you too"-E he turned to go . "hey um you have a place to stay"-E
"it's the house next door to yours ,it's for rent"-C
"oh okay well text me"-E

  I pointed at him and he smiled and then he left. 

My Greatest Weakness

my phones ringing on the table, jasalin grabbed it and handed it to me

"Mommy its Chase"-J

i took the phone from her it was kinda odd that he called me but you know what ever
"Hello?"
"Elena? its chase um theres been....a accident"
"What?..who? where? how?" Dimitri and jelly popped into my head what happened....
there was a long pause until chase said "its Dimitri...he was hit by a car...going 45mph"

i hung up and held my phone in my hand looking at it and tears rolled down my face usually its me that gets hurt not Dimitri hes to nice hes never done anything bad...that i know of but still...


i grab jasalin and strapped her in the car seat and drove to the hospital..i was there in 10mins. i saw chase and gave him a huge hug just letting my tears fall...
"hey Elena"
"wheres my brother?" i said wiping away the tears, he pointed to a door along the hallway..i walked towards it afraid of what i would see.. seeing my brother hurt.... lets put it this way i would die for him without even thinking.
i walked over to his bed and grabbed his hand seeing him hooked up to everything and bandaged up brought tears to my eyes once again..
"why , why did this happen to you dim why??!"
jelly walked up behind me and through her arms around me sobbing, i hugged her

"jelly.."-E
"it all happened so fast Elena"
i didn't say anything i was looking at Dimitri lieing there

"this should have been me Elena" she looked at dim
i pulled back from her hug and looked at her sitting in front of her
"no jelly it shouldn't have been you or dim, Ive always told Dimitri that i would die for him and i mean it everyday of my life"
i opened up my hand that was clenched and revealed Dimitri's necklace that had a guitar pic on it. we both just stared at Dimitri jelly held my hand.
"Elena what if...he doesn't make it"
"he will jelly... -i looked at her- were related"
she layed her head on my shoulder
"i don't know what i would do without him"
"neither do i jelly i would probably kill myself. I  cant live without him." tears rolled down my face chase walked in few mins later
"hey"-C
i just looked at him...crying
"hes going to be okay guys..its dim, hes always ok" chase hugged me and jelly
jasalin tugged on chases pants and he took her down to the cafeteria
, i went and sit in the chair right next to dims bed, jelly leaned against the wall in front of his bed. 
"i just want him to wake up"
"i do to jells" i layed my head on his bed face down 
"Dimitri please wake up"-E
Mr Winston walked in 
"hello Mr Winston, is Dimitri gonna be okay?"
"i hope so Elena hes in critical condition we cant tell if there is brain damage till he wakes up .... most of his injuries will heal,we did surgery and stopped his internal bleeding"
i walked back over sitting on Dimitri's bed holding his hand
"hes closer to breathing on his own...that's good"-Mr W.
i whispered to dim. "Dimitri wake up ....."-E tears rolled off my cheek and onto his arm and hand.. almost a second later his eye twitches
"Dimitri.." i gripped his hand tight then letting go
.... he squeezed my hand 
"Dimitri! -i kissed his cheek and gave him a light hug still holding his hand- open your eyes brother" i was still crying

jelly pulled a chair up next to me "hes gonna be okay ...he has to be"
"Dimitri...just try and open your eyes .."-E

jelly reached up and stroked his arm, tears again roll off my cheek and onto his arm and some of his side
"Dimitri don't do this to us...we need you"-E grabbed my wrist, in my hand that she was grabbing was dims necklace
"you know how i told you i die for you...? Well i would give anything for you to be alive with jelly right here right now"-E


jelly gave me a questioning look

Kitkat to the RESCUE

[read kitkat and two-bitch :)'s post first then read mine ]

So elena whats the plan?-K
i dont know drink my heart out then crash somewhere and worry abou it in the morning?-E
ummm sure..-K

i knew kitkat bar was tired as i am..at least she got sleep so i drank some more because the nice bartennder knew me i got them all for free...since he new my parents and knew i didnt have much money on me

Ill put it on ur mommas bill goodnight Elena-Jack [bartender]

Kitkat and I found a motel and slept till i guess 12 or at least i did
So E whats the plan?-K
Go home to my brother...-E
of course-k she said wraping her arm around me
We will leave as soon as possiable...

so the day went on we finially arived in tulsa and up to My house i noticed dims car was gone
i let out a breath
thanks so much kit ill make it up to you and twobit i promise!-E
love you girl-K
Kitty drove off and i entered into the empty house...not so empty

MOMMMY-Jasalin
she said hugging me and i lifted her up twirling her around,holding her close

Why did you leave mommy?-K
i dont know sweety ill stay from now on ill never leave unless i take you and damon with me-E.
isaid putting her down ..cloud came running down stairs pushing me over and licking my face,jasalin was giggle-in., i sat on the couch crying

Dimitri walked in

 Elena?...-D

I'm sorry i hope this makes up for what i did...Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Brother. i love you and I'm sorry 
i hope this makes up for everything

a year supply of rum :)

john vervatos v-neck shirts

Blue neck ties :P

Stolichnaya Vodka

John Vervatos Converse

Zeng Yao Military Pocket Light Attached to a Switchblade Knife

I love you brother no matter what! always look at ur necklace (guitar pic)

Back in Riverside California,

I got tired/bored of being in the hospital so i left :p. I went down to the airport and caught a flight to Riverside California,my hometown its the place where i grew up and went to school with this girl Lucy Sparrow. Alex told me he found her in Riverside...just thought i catch up with her haven't seen her since the 7th grade.

I came up to there door and knocked me and Lucy little hand shake against the door. she opened it
she hugged me..

"Oh my god Elena your here..Ive missed you girl"
"i heard that Alex was looking for you. i knew where you were the whole time" a smiled came across my face and a angry one came across Alex's
"You knew where she was the whole time?"
"have since we were in diapers"
"Elena and I were Sisters for life back then,then her stupid brother made her move because she got hurt in a fight"
"That's just all i do these days is get hurt"
"Hey did i ever tell you that i had a daughter?"
"Um no you didn't loser"
"That's why me and Lucy split is because she got pregnant" Alex said coming up behind Lucy hugging her
"To afraid of being a daddy?"
 i said as i slapped him on the arm playfully..
"I don't see Jake anywhere do you?"
"Jake's a dumb ass him and Blake tried to kill me"
"Wait...my BROTHER?" Lucy said
"Yeah your brother is he...upstairs"
"Um yeah"


I walked upstairs and into his room he was playing his xbox...teenage boys these days

"Hello Blake"
"Hi...Elena? what are you doing here?"
"hanging out with Lucy"
"that's cool..."
"Hm yeah i guess talk to you later lowlife Blake"
"Goodnight Elena"

Lucy wanted to go live in Tulsa, Blake too...i on the other hand stayed through Christmas Christmas eve when a little like this

i went to the old bar and drank a couple beers...danced played pool,then what do you know Jake walks in, i walk up to him

"Elena what are you doing back in our hometown?"
"Lucy..."
"oh so why aren't you back with Dimitri and Jasalin in Tulsa on Christmas eve?"
"i have to sort things though"
"So you want to go back to my place and get drunk?"
"that's what i was planing on,getting drunk"
"Wont Dimitri get pissed for so many reasons tho?"
"oh who the hell knows these days, i could sit on the counter and he would get mad at me"
Jake smiled and handed me some vodka shots 

"here's to a Christmas miracle"
"what?"-E
"The most beautiful girl on this planet walked back into my life"
"Awe"
"Merry Christmas Elena"
"Merry Christmas Jake"

Jake looked at me for a long time......then we kissed. i don't know if i should regret it or Cherish it...


we went back to Jake's place listening to Alex Band and The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus all the way

"Elena I'm glad you back in Cali"
"I am 2 Jake, i am 2" taking a drink then staring at the fire place as i was sitting on the couch
"Whats wrong?" Jake said as he sat by me
"Dimitri's changing"
"What do you mean?"
"He flips out over little things..he yells more, it scares me Jake"
"Dimitri means well Elena hes just trying to protect you and take care of you"
"Jake i have nightmares that hes killing me..every time i turn around in the dream..he kills me"
a tear rolled down my face, Jake wiped it away
"Elena everything is gonna be fine..i promise"
he hugged me and snuggled on the couch watching the TV series LOST and drinking ,drinking and more drinking for the past 6 hours...we finally passed out on the couch after dancing and being stupid


The next morning i woke up in a bed...and a MAJOR HEADACHE!!!

"Jake!!" i yelled
he came in throwing me a beer and aspirin
"thanks...how did i end up in your bed...?"
"I took you up here after i woke up"
"oh...thanks"
i got out of bed going down stairs to a omelet, bacon the works and a Rose laying beside the plate
"Jake....seriously?"


"I love you Elena"

Cloud

I came home from going out to dinner with my friend. And i opened to a yellow lab barking at me i k eeled down and rubbed his head and back. Dimitri came down stairs from doing who knows what "what is it....oh its just elena cloud" "we have a dog now?" "yeah we do i went to the pound...and saw him" "i love him hes so cute!...and soft" i hugged cloud and standing up he jumped up on me. "aww" i pushed him down off of me and went to sit on the couch texting away on my phone ...cloud came running up laying in my lap... "dimitri i love him!". "he seems to like you very much" "yeah he does"

So i put on one of dimitris warm jackets since it started to get cold lately put my phone in my pocket put on clouds leash and went for a walk....

Cloud did the normal sniff&pee everywhere lol:D anyways we got home around dark...dimitri and jelly were asleep so i let cloud in and drove off to the "so called house by the lake. Of mine" and met my boy there. Blah blah :p (use ur imagination)

Love E

Kitkats present:D

Dear Kitkat ur my bestfriend. You help take care of jasalin she tells me how much fun you are ur the best i dont know how long ive known u seems like forever. Ill i want to say is i love you girl ur the best!

Heres ur present hope u like it

P.s they glow in the dark!!
Pss i get the moon:)

Less painfull adventures

~.......my Friday went a little like this.......~

"Elena are you okay...?" Cory said knocking on the bathroom door
as i opened the door looking like shit "am i ever okay?"
"What the hell...Elena?"
"I'm sick that's whats wrong..."i said as i walked over to the table picking up my phone dialing kits number..
"Hey kit..what goes on?"

"Not a lot jasalins fine shes eating lunch..um Elena you sound like shit you okay?" </div>

"No....Can i talk to her.?"
"Um yeah here she is”;

"Hi mommy!"
"hey..girl you having fun?”

"yeah i hung with sodapopers and Katie for a bit we played dress up soda wore a blue sparkly skirt and a hot pink boa....don't ask me how he got that on..”

"Hhaha That's funny..hey well I'm not feeling to well so until I'm better me and Cory are staying here at the house by the lake for a while longer...you gonna be okay?"

"WHAT? Your sick??...NO NO No you cant get sick mommy we have to go to Disney world Wednesday!!"
"honey I'm sorry were postponing that for a bit I'm not sure if i want to go just yet...but i promise we will go within the next few weeks.."

"Fine....Fell better here's Kit"
"hey Lena...you sure its just a stomach virus..?"-Kit

"ha ha funny kitkat bar I'm not pregnant..”
"Right...Talk to you later”
"Bye.." i hung up staring at the phone ask the screen said call ended...hm maybe...nah Kit is just weird ha ha but i still love her."Elena what are you talking about?" Cory said sitting down next to me i curled up in his arms laying my head on his chest
"Nothing shes just...nothing”
"i love you" he kissed me on the top of my head
"love you 2" i said looking up at him
"Have you heard from dim?"Cory said taking my phone away from me and setting it on the table
"No and it doesn't matter hes probably making out with jelly or talking about me to mom”
"Elena your mom left yesterday"
"Oh.."
"What happen between you and your mom?"

"she was a drunk..she says shes not now but i could tell shes just putting on a damn act for Dimitri showing him shes a good mom and shit"
"She is a good mom you turned out good Elena stop doubting your self all the time!"
"Screw my life.."
"Elena Cristine Ryder!"
i looked up at him laying on his lap
"What?"..
"never mind forget it just feel better okay.."
"...what ever...you know how everyone is getting a tattoo and what not?"
"no"
"But even you have one"
"So elena in ur condition u cant get one!"
"But.."
"You cant get one and that's finial!!"
"i never take no for a answer...cory u should know that"
I got up grabbing my keys and cell phone walking to the door cory grabed me by the arm
"If your going im going with you!...but were calling dimitri on the way"
"....fine"

"hello...elena?"
"hey dim its cory,your sister is in the tattoo place getting one"
"to hell she isnt"
"....umm kinda to late shes standing by the mirrior looking at it"
"Fuck....where have u guys been?"
"the lake house."
"jasalin there with you?"
"No shes at the curtis"
"good.."
"hey talk to you later dim. Im driving elena home after her other eran.."
"and what might that be.."
"hey dim its elena...got to go"
I hung up the phone. What dimitri doesnt know the less he has to worry about
"hey greg" the tattoo and peircing guy haha
"yeah?...wanna get yr belly button peirce dont you?"
"umm yeah will it hurt?"
"oh yeah"
"okay lets get to it"
After some pain from needels we finally went home.. I knocked on the door
"come in" i heard my mom say..
"Hey mom what goes on"
"Elena!..why did u leave when i walked through the door?"
"i...didnt want to deal with you"
"well i feel loved"
"yeah...where dimitri"
"oh up stairs...by the way nice house next door u really fixed it up"
"umm thanks its jakes i basiclly got custody over everything but the yellow mustang...the one i fixed"
"Yo dimitri get ur ass down here" i yelled from the bottom of the stairs
"Elena!"
"What elena let me see ur...u got ur belly button peirced to?!!" i realized i had my tank top rolled up above the ring
"umm yeah ...look at my tattoo"! I pulled up my shirt showing my tattoo on my back
"wow..a guitar..really?"
"yeah i wanted to put ur name on my shoulder but the guy didnt want to put it around my stiches"
"im surprisingly okay with the 'guitar tattoo' it looks really nice " he gave me a big hug
"i love you brother.." i said looking up at him
"i love you 2 elena". I looked at the necklace around his neck
"The guitar pick..."
"this way ill never leave it and u will always be with me"
I let out a laugh cory did too
I ran upstairs cory following behind me i looked at my tattoo in the mirror in my room
"it looks really nice elena"
"thank you" i said pulling my shirt back down
"although the belly ring thing is hot!"
"im glad u think so..haha"
He pulled me to the bed we kissed blah blah other PG-13 stuff....
~.......My Friday was less painfull then any other day.......~

ElenaRyder<3

Camping,Smores,guitar,Family. How much better can it get?

 8:00am i wake up in dimitris room its bright and hot!...so i decided to get out of bed ha:) i basiclly run down stairs huging dim big and hard spining  him around slinging the bowl of cereal across the kitchen.."what the heck..elena,whats gotten into you?" "I feel good! Lets go to the beach or lake or something!!!" "Im not letting you near water elena....how bout we go camping" "in the woods?" "no in our backyard like we would do when we were little!" "lets go tell jasy". I follow dimitri up the stairs suprised i didnt fall from running....."Hey jas?" "Hi mommy!!dimmyyy" i picked her up out of her bed and set her down she ran to dim "hey jas how would you like to go camping in our backyard,a tent fire and everything?" " will there be smores?" "oh yes mommys specialty" "yayay". We all go downstairs and over to my house witch we now use for partys and storage and what not and grab the camping gear. Jasalins little Cinderella sleeping bag that i use to have when i was her age im still surprised we have it :D...later that night we have the fire going the tent set up its a pretty big tent to bad its not one of those harry potter tents D: lol...."Elena". "yeah?.." "remeber how we used to play guitar together out on the back bacony at moms house?" "yeah why?" "i think we should play some see how good we still are" "um okay..ill go get our guitars which one do you want?" "that accoustic one of adrians" "kay".....i cam back outside handing dim his guitar,we have log type things so i chose the one siting by jas "hey dim do you want a pic" "mmm yeah"...i smile and tossed dim the pic "elena...this pic is the one you made for me..." the pic says dimitri ryder is my brother i will die for him in reallly small letters "yeah its the one i usually wear around my neck but forgot about it"-dim. "lets play"  im stareing down at jasalin singing to her the rythum , beat and sound just come flowing out 

"it is what it is i was only looking for a shortcut home but it's complicated so complicated somewhere in this city is a road i know where we could make it but maybe there's no making it now" Dim and i singing together if i do say so myself dim is really good...jasalin is siting there just smileling shes so cute...the song ends jasalin claps and cheers haha XD..."wow elena.." "what?" "i never notice how pretty your voice is..". "well your really good at guitar" "thanks,hey why dont you just play a song yourself...for jas" "umm...okay ill try" 

"im holding on your rope
 Got me ten feet off the ground
Im here on what you say 
But i just cant make a sound..
You Tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down but wait you tell me that your sorry didnt think i turn around say heyy that its too late to apologize its to late to apologize i said its to late to apologize
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But that's nothing new, yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue
And you say sorry like the angel
Heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late, whoa whoa.......

"Oh mygosh elena that was beautiful...and phenomanol at guitar you really mastered that song!"-dim "mommy that was prettyyy!" jasalin had tears running down her face i wiped them away "sweety im not that good..compared to jamie and austin no way!" "ive never heard jamers play.."-jas "maybe you can get her to" "tommarow?" "maybe" 

"SMORE TIME"-dim

Yayayaya-jas 

I fixed jasys smores between the 3 of us i estimate that we had at least 7....

"you guys ready for bed?"-dim "no i want to here mommy play again".-jas "will you elena?" "sure,but you promise youll go to bed after this?" "yes!-jas" 

"What song should i sing dim?" "say all i need"

I started to play.....

"Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest..

.i looked down at jas and she was sound asleep in dims lap...

"elena your really good its been so long since weve played together....we should for the gang like all of us that play the guitar an sing and stuff.." "yeah we really should i think tommarow im gonna find out what jamies plans are so jasalin can see if james can play for her.."

"okay night i love you sis" dim said crawling into the sleeping bags in the tent" 

"....night" i got up and left went through the house out to the front and drove to the lake with my guitar in the backseat....i steped out with shoes off onto the grass the feeling between my toes was nice i sat at the bank of the lake and just started to play not any particular song just little peices of notes...i put my guitar down and just stared off pass the water looking at the sunset i layed down looking at the sky ..my eyes started to close and i...just ..let them

Elena R <3 

Camping,Smores,guitar,Family. How much better can it get?

 8:00am i wake up in dimitris room its bright and hot!...so i decided to get out of bed ha:) i basiclly run down stairs huging dim big and hard spining  him around slinging the bowl of cereal across the kitchen.."what the heck..elena,whats gotten into you?" "I feel good! Lets go to the beach or lake or something!!!" "Im not letting you near water elena....how bout we go camping" "in the woods?" "no in our backyard like we would do when we were little!" "lets go tell jasy". I follow dimitri up the stairs suprised i didnt fall from running....."Hey jas?" "Hi mommy!!dimmyyy" i picked her up out of her bed and set her down she ran to dim "hey jas how would you like to go camping in our backyard,a tent fire and everything?" " will there be smores?" "oh yes mommys specialty" "yayay". We all go downstairs and over to my house witch we now use for partys and storage and what not and grab the camping gear. Jasalins little Cinderella sleeping bag that i use to have when i was her age im still surprised we have it :D...later that night we have the fire going the tent set up its a pretty big tent to bad its not one of those harry potter tents D: lol...."Elena". "yeah?.." "remeber how we used to play guitar together out on the back bacony at moms house?" "yeah why?" "i think we should play some see how good we still are" "um okay..ill go get our guitars which one do you want?" "that accoustic one of adrians" "kay".....i cam back outside handing dim his guitar,we have log type things so i chose the one siting by jas "hey dim do you want a pic" "mmm yeah"...i smile and tossed dim the pic "elena...this pic is the one you made for me..." the pic says dimitri ryder is my brother i will die for him in reallly small letters "yeah its the one i usually wear around my neck but forgot about it"-dim. "lets play"  im stareing down at jasalin singing to her the rythum , beat and sound just come flowing out 

"it is what it is i was only looking for a shortcut home but it's complicated so complicated somewhere in this city is a road i know where we could make it but maybe there's no making it now" Dim and i singing together if i do say so myself dim is really good...jasalin is siting there just smileling shes so cute...the song ends jasalin claps and cheers haha XD..."wow elena.." "what?" "i never notice how pretty your voice is..". "well your really good at guitar" "thanks,hey why dont you just play a song yourself...for jas" "umm...okay ill try" 

"im holding on your rope

 Got me ten feet off the ground

Im here on what you say 

But i just cant make a sound..

You Tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down but wait you tell me that your sorry didnt think i turn around say heyy that its too late to apologize its to late to apologize i said its to late to apologize 

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But that's nothing new, yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue
And you say sorry like the angel
Heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late, whoa whoa.......

"Oh mygosh elena that was beautiful...and phenomanol at guitar you really mastered that song!"-dim "mommy that was prettyyy!" jasalin had tears running down her face i wiped them away "sweety im not that good..compared to jamie and austin no way!" "ive never heard jamers play.."-jas "maybe you can get her to" "tommarow?" "maybe" 

"SMORE TIME"-dim

Yayayaya-jas 

I fixed jasys smores between the 3 of us i estimate that we had at least 7....

"you guys ready for bed?"-dim "no i want to here mommy play again".-jas "will you elena?" "sure,but you promise youll go to bed after this?" "yes!-jas" 

"What song should i sing dim?" "say all i need"

I started to play.....

"Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest...i looked down at jas and she was sound asleep in dims lap...

"elena your really good its been so long since weve played together....we should for the gang like all of us that play the guitar an sing and stuff.." "yeah we really should i think tommarow im gonna find out what jamies plans are so jasalin can see if james can play for her.."

"okay night i love you sis" dim said crawling into the sleeping bags in the tent" 

"....night" i got up and left went through the house out to the front and drove to the lake with my guitar in the backseat....i steped out with shoes off onto the grass the feeling between my toes was nice i sat at the bank of the lake and just started to play not any particular song just little peices of notes...i put my guitar down and just stared off pass the water looking at the sunset i layed down looking at the sky ..my eyes started to close and i...just ..let them

Elena R <3 

LIfe Is Overated...getting hurt all the time is getting really old! Part 1!

Sleep is a bitch these days with jasalin waking up at 2:30am in the morning and thinking about Jake and all.....We bought a house well he did...so i moved in with him 2 months ago.as soon as i heard are little girl screaming and crying probably from one of her dreams again... i threw my pillow at Jake.

"Jake can u get her....please.!" i said asking nicely as possible apparently my tone didn't come out as nice as i thought with his reply i could tell that intently
"No, You have two feet go get her your self i would but my knee hurts...and shes upstairs"
i mumbled under my breath at him" your knee really? my freaking side is on verge of bleeding and your complaining about your damn knee?"   I finally got up tieing back my hair into a bun inching out of bed in pain from my side...i look at my alarm clock the green flashing lights blinking 2:30AM...."Jasalin you okay sweetie.."i said trying to hide my tiring voice. "I had  a bob nightmare again...." "What was it about this time.?"  "Soda and..Katie-pop at there house bob hurting  them" tears started rolling down her face i sat beside her wiping them away...i realized that just that week bob did hurt soda but she didn't even know.." Soda and Katie are okay bobs gonna get it one of these days rumble or no rumble hes still gonna pay for what he did to my best friend!" "Mommy calm down..." i looked at her dazed and confused then i realized i was mad at bob...but from me almost screaming about it my stitches had opened and i guess she was surprised to see blood all over my tank top "i love you promise to never ever go anywhere with out me or someone from the gang" i said hugging her pulling close to my chest "i promise....can we go eat now?" its 2:30Am and shes hungry shes 3 years old!crazy little girl you gotta love her "Sweetie its 2:35 in the morning the suns not up yet...go see if your daddy will take you to the tasty freeze or something..and slap him for me :D" she left the room jumping up and down hardly ever would i let her have sugar before 10am but i guess i was too tired to realized what i said... Jake and jasalin left..i went in my room pulling on my jacket over my green tank top and jean shorts with high-top converse... the jacket smelled familiar i mean its my jacket but it doesn't smell like my perfume crap:) ...i pulled it off and looked at it  this was Jake's from 4 years ago when we were together i pulled it back on it was my favorite jacket i would where it everywhere it was so big and warm....it was pouring down rain but that never stops me i stepped out the front door my ipod in my jacket headphones in my ear blasting loud...i walked and walked and walked looking at the ground just simply thinking about Jake and Jasalin,i started hearing people honking there horns and yelling like old people when your 7 years old ruining there yard by stepping in it...so i moved over i realized i was walking down the middle of the road...some random car pulls up i could tell it was a soc car but whatever i could care less at this point "Move you ugly ass bitch" i shot back at them "Why you talking about your mother that way kid?" they gave me a glare so i just kept walking and they kept following me i didn't care so i just kept my head down pulling my hood over my head walking listening to music...i started crying from thinking about my parents abusing me, Dimitri caring way to much about my life,Bob attacking all of us....one by one., jasalin...Jake if he completely walked out of my life i would simply die but some how live just for jasalin....i heard the car engine cut off  i turn around a soc rips out my head phones another one slams me on the ground on my back another one holding down my arms i look over at the car simply because they have me pinned that way  i recognized it  Blue Mustang the door swings open and bob steps out looking at this minions nodding...the one holding my arms down cuts me across my stomach  damn what is with them and my stomach?! "What the fuck bob am i your next victim?" "No this is my turf and you walked on it so you get jumped for pleasure"  i realized i walked all the way to the south side "Okay so now what your gonna kill me?"  "No I'm gonna let you live you have it hard enough don't listen to Jake hes a worthless piece of shit...he nodded to another soc who cut me again on my leg and arms"on second that I'm not"  "Oh my gosh Bob Sheldon almost had the slightest bit of good in him then it left him like all the girls do in the damn neighborhood"  " Shut the fuck up Elena no one loves you no one would ever like you no one would ever pay the slightest bit of attention to you but your lazy ass of a brother,and your so called Boyfriend!!" he said  screaming at me looking down at my face, he nodded to his gang to let me up ....and so they did , i stood up brushing the dirt off the back of my pants and my shirt...i looked up at the sky , Cold dark, cloudy rain pouring on my face i instantly looked back at bob when i heard him laugh.. "What are you laughing at ?"  "Oh nothing just how   vulnerable you are right now,Say wheres your Jakey ?"  "Hes not my Jakey anymore bob you should know that since you have you minions stalking us as we live" "Oh sorry to here that "  "Why do you care you just a worthless piece of shit bob! no one likes you  either!"  "Listen to me Bitch" he said pushing me up against a tree with his hand to my throat. "No one Loves you No one Likes you No one even cares about you not even anybody in that 'greaser' gang likes you...they don't care about you Elena don't you wish you could just not live anymore? huh? don't you!" he said screaming in my face pushing harder against my neck "Go ahead and kill me at least ill be free of you!" "Wouldn't your daughter miss you?jasalin is it?"  "Don't you dare touch my daughter!" "Then watch what you say Elena"  with that last word  he pulled out his switch cutting my side..deeper..somewhat of my neck too...and let go of me and got back in his car and drove off... i started to think to my self  ....Maybe bob is right whats the point of living ...i couldn't let that excuses of a human being get to me...later i started feeling lightheaded i closed my eyes and everything went blank i couldn't hear a thing not even the rain on my face.


After i guess 20 minutes of laying in the rain i finally woke up, looking up at a face  dark brown spiked hair with blue in it ...those dark brown eyes staring at you.....i shook my head not believing who it was  i started to open my mouth nothing came out...his finger moved to my lips closing them shhing me not to say anything.... "Elena...what the hell happened to you?" "I...um.. Jake?" "yeah its me"  "Why are you here? i thought you hated me?" "Elena what the...i could never hate you! i love you" he put his hand on my side putting pressure on it i let out a small scream.. he picked me up bridal style carrying me back to his car..."Elena what were you doing on the south side ALONE!"  "I was just walking and listening to music" "Elena you walked all the way to the south side, you had Dimitri scared sick"  "oh really and you weren't!?"  i said looking out the window ignoring everything else he said, he slapped me on my arm "Elena, Back in the car!"  "Sorry...its just my side really hurts..!"  "Yeah it looks like bob got you good this time.." "Hey aren't we having the party tonight, you, me , angelica, Dimitri soda and Katie?" "yeah there's gonna be beer, Dimitri said you cant have any because of your cuts ..." "I'm going to have 2 rather you like it or not!!" "Fine" "Gurr whats your fucking problem?"Dimitri said walking out of the house as we drove up "My problem is your fucking sister she walked all the way to the south side and got jumped by bob! just look at her" Jake said pulling me out of the car by my arm into the front yard shoving me over to Dimitri..i trip and dim catches me "What the hell Jake calm the fuck down!"-Dim .  "Hey whats going on out here..i can here you yelling inside!"-Soda "Yeah stop being a jerk and come inside!"-Jelly "Yeah"-Katie we all started to go inside i grabbed a beer and sat on the couch "Come on Elena-Bear  dance!"-Soda  "Um no thanks i don't wanna look like a idiot like my brother!" "Your already a idiot just dance!!"-Dimitri  Dimitri is so wasted by now but what the hell i got up sorta dancing with jelly and Katie and then i went over by Dimitri and slapped him for calling me a idiot earlier even though i am one :) than again i  just like to hit my brother... i started to feel lightheaded again and i went to sit on the couch but i slipped and fell...everything around me just went completely black


I woke up later confused and in a white room..damn why am i not surprised...it was blurry so i wasn't sure who was in my room....i felt a warm hand brush down my cheek. "Hey Sis how are you?" "Hey..what happened?" "The usual but worse this time I'm surprised your not dead yet" "Way to make me feel better brother ..gahh!"  "love you too sis!" he gave me a hug then pulled back looking at me seriously "What?"  "Elena you were asleep for 3 days i thought i lost  my baby sis" "3days?" "Yeah, Adrian even came by when he herd you were here...i was surprised he even came....he was drunk..probably off getting wasted with some girl again" i let out a laugh and smiling "Really...ha-ha that's kinda hard to believe." "Yeah i know, you need rest Elena ...lay back down" he said as he was pushing me on the shoulder ,falling back on the pillow "Dimitri?" i said before he could leave the room "I love you..i hate getting hurt all the time it really is getting old!" "i love you to sis, and yeah it is why don't you go back to bed and we will talk about it tomorrow" "Night" he kissed me on the forehead and left the room..


The next day i woke up with Dimitri sitting at the table, Jake on the other side and jasalin beside me on the bed.
 "Hey sleeping beauty how you feeling?-Jake "How do you think-Dimitri Dimitri slapped Jake and i let out a laugh.
"I'm fine guys..i guess, kinda hungry " "Ill go get you something" Jake left the room and i looked over at Dmitri surprised at his reaction to Jake...Jake didn't scream back which was weird..

"Hey Dimitri?" " Yeah.." he said getting up coming over to me.
"Jake scares me to much he hurts me too much to!" "I know Elena, I'm trying to fix that are you to still?"
"No I'm pissed off at him like alot!,Dimitri my tummy hurts..."  i felt lightheaded again from screaming...that's when everything went ...Blank


Love Elena R...

 

Surprised!

I here the doorbell and i slide down stairwail.

I immdedietly froze when i open the door.
"hello elena,hows my favorite girl"-blake
"just fine,as i closed the door"
What are you doing here blake!"-me
Oh i was just in the neighboorhood...i have a deal with some guys-blake.
Whats the deal?-me
Its a drug deal elena..-blake
Same old blake.-me i smiled
Same old elena..except u havent been drinking have you?-blake
No i havent-me
Thats what i loved about u when u get drunk-blake
Oh shut up blake-me
Now wheres that brothers of urs that hates me so much-blake

Get out of my damn house be fore i kill u!!-dim
Guys just shut up and blake come back over here!-elena
Dimitri hit him in The back of the head and he swung at dim but missed and dim knocked him on his feet,and in that instent thet where wrestleing on the floor.

I jumped in between them and pulled dimitri off of blake and knocked blake against a table.

Guys seriously just stop fighting!-me
Elena have u not seen what he has done to you?-dim

Blake pushed me out of the way and cut dimitri really deep in the stomach. I ran over to blake and pushed him over the knife flew into the air and i grabed it.

Jake!!-me
What?-jake
Get down here now!get dimitri to the hospital!-me

Jake comes down and carries dimitri to my truck an he drives off to the hospital

What the HELL blake why the fuck did u do that?!-me
He was about to brake my kneck!-blake.
So!!-me
I walked over to the kitchen by the sink and jumped up on the counter.to check out my scrap that happen when blake pushed me. That instent blake kissed me on the lips for a long time. And he grabed a knife and cut me across my stomach and side and he ran out the door.

Jasalin!!-me
What mommy-jasalin said as she ran down the stairs and into the kitchen
Go get ur carseat and get in the mustang-me. I started to the door and opened it. As i did blake came up and licked the blood off my stomach. Hes a damn freak!

What the fuck blake get away from me!-me
I started to open the door but blake slamed it shut and pushed me against the car and riped my jeans.

Look blake im not in a rapeing mood!-me
I fliped out my swich that was in my pocket and riped his shirt and cut him across the chest

Shit elena..-blake

Looks arent everything blake-i said putting my foot on his chest

He grabbed my other swich that was in my shoes and cut acroos the upper part of my right leg.

Fuck you blake!-me

I jumped into the car and drove off to the hospital to see dimitri. Jasalin jumped out and ran to dimitris room.

I walked in,standing in the doorway driping blood and my shirt soaked.

Elena what did he do to you!-dim said tying to sit up but he winced.
Nothing-me

Dimitri mouthed liar and i shook my head. I stped closer to his bed. Jake got up and pulled my shirt up revealing a slightly deeper cut then dimitris.

Elena u need a doctor!!!now!!-dim
Oh my god elena-jake
No i dont! I said stepping away from them both.

Please elena do i for me!-dim

Im sorry dimitri......

And i walked out of the room and the hospital

-Elena R < 3